David HasselHöff's 
Genetics Lab
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 

 

   I don't know about you but sometimes I get the feeling that I can't be seen clearly from  a 
        long distance, and sometimes when I am walking next to a particularly high wall I can't be seen at all. And you know the mazes you often find in theme parks and the like, well wouldn't it be 
        neat if somehow you could see over the tops of the walls, and thus be able to plan your 
        route through the maze enabling swift completion of it. It, would revolutionize life as we know it. These are interesting problems, lets see if we can solve them through Genetic Engineering. 
 

  
 
 
 
 
 

             Lets start by consulting through some books 
             to see if we can find a natural organism 
             that already displays these wondrous 
             capabilities. 
 

 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 

 
 
        Ah ha The giraffe, G. camelopardalis, is the tallest animal in 
        the world, reaching heights up to 5.5 m (18 ft). The giraffe 
        can run as fast as 48 km/h (30 mph). Its height gives it the 
        appearance of moving in slow motion.  This wondrous beast 
        (pictured below) is this answer to my problems. His Long 
        neck enables his face to bee seen from miles away, this long 
        neck also enables him to see over the walls of a maze, 
        with the added bonus of his speed, with which he could 
        sprint through any maze, fantastic. 

        If I splice giraffe DNA with that of myself, giving him my 
        facial features  I could create a truly formidable beast. 
        One whose face could bee seen in all situations and could 
        complete even the most difficult mazes in seconds. 

 
 
Lets Get to work 
  
 
 
 
 
 

  Its Worked, Its quite amazing, the genetically altered 
  giraffe has retained  both its long neck and also 
  developed elements of my physicality. Behold the 
  Girrafelhöff. 

  David : Hello Girrafelhöff 
  Girrafelhöff : Hello David 
  David : How does it feel to know your face 
              can be seen with ease from a distance of 
              say 2.5km ? 
  Girrafelhöff : It can, why thats fantastic, although Ill 
                      have to spend a little more time on  
                      my hair in  the morning, ha ha. 
  David : Ha,ha, excellent. And how do you feel knowing 
              that you can be seen over a tall wall, for 
              instance. 
  Girrafelhöff : I can, brilliant that will be right usefull if  
                      I get lost in a city, Manhatan for instance. 
 
 
  David  : And you could look over the walls 
               of mazes.. 
  Girrafelhöff : Ha ha, asif. 
  David : No its true 
  Girrafelhöff : What ? 
  David  : You could look over the walls of 
               mazes thus lessening the time it 
               takes to complete one. Great ay. 
  Girrafelhöff : But thats...I can...The power... 
                      I feel it running through my  
                      viens...I am the supreme  
                     being, the all conquering... 
  David : Hello 
  Girrafelhöff : Mighty, powerfull,  
                      Gerrafelhöff! I will  rule  
                      the world.  
                      Ha ha ha ha ha ha. 
  David : We seem to have a problem with the 
  Girrafelhöf, the power has gone to his head. 
 
 
 
 
 
 

   

UNDER CONSTRUCTION